Week 11
For the final Conceptual self portrait I chose to illustrate the prescribed medication I have been taking since last year. I wanted to display it in a grid pattern and decided to show it on a calendar grid starting from last January to this past week. The pink and white pills are for my ADHD and the yellow ones are for my depression. You can tell the periods in which I would stop or forget to take my medications and when I started treating my depression with medication. I also think it illustrates my patterns from ADHD which is scattered planning; I tend to do it all in my head or on random pieces of paper. I rarely use my calendar online even though our everyday lives have shifted more and more to using technology for tasks. I use paper agendas and sometimes I go weeks without writing in them. This also solidifies time for me as lately the days have been melting into each other like a big time puddle. Sometime my medications alter and affect my time perception so this lays it all out.
Week 10
Week 9
I changed my idea from last week to create this audio; a self deprecating, self love affirmation recording. This shows my constant struggle with self love, but I think it shows my progress. Leading up to my attempted su*cide, the left track was on repeat in my head, just constant self hate. Since then ive gone through therapy, medications and self improvement strategies that have allowed me to for the first time in my life be able to go to bed and think that i love myself and say nice things to myself. it seems so simple but I was shocked the first time it happened.
I was going to play the “Hate” track first and then the love, but i think that would imply that I’m all better which is far from the truth. In reality the thoughts are still there, but i can drown them out and counter them with love.
Week 8
For my first audio piece, I focused on recording sounds in my daily life that reflect activities that either bring me joy, calm, peace, etc.. The past few months have been incredibly difficult emotionally, but through this pain I have been able to still see and appreciate the little things that if I stay mindful and in the moment, are so small yet so meaningful.
The audio has been layered, however I am providing them separately if you’re curious to listen to each one alone. The different sounds include:
- bubbles in my bubble bath (after leaving the hospital I tried to find something that calmed me down, I began taking baths every day (sometimes twice a day) and really used that as self care. I have pleasant memories of baths as a kid and I hadn’t taken one in years so I became a little obsessed.
- me listening to one of my favourite artists while smoking, I use this time to unwind and sometimes sing and dance to let loose
- the sound of my dog wagging her tail against the floor; my dog Zoey loves attention and she wags her tails really hard, to the point where she’ll hit herself in the face and her tail is very strong (shes hurt me before) so I call her “thumper” like the rabbit from Bambi. Everytime i get near her she wags her tail and it brings me a lot of joy
- the last recording is of me meditating to some calming music, if you listen you can hear my breathing, i also used my crystals during this practice
Week 7
Other Examples I Looked At:
Yok Ono SCREAMING! I really enjoyed this piece, especially in reference to the Donald trump photo, I have often used screaming as a way to let out my frustration/pain/anger. I liked that she didn’t just try to scream for three minutes without a break, I like that she varied her tone, her pitch her breaths, it was like a language through scream.
The prompt for this piece is to use one instrument and one action: screaming.
I’m Practicing My Cartoon Voices, Steve Reinke
Prompt:
Voice Over by Brain Joseph Davis
Prompt: Read a
Prompt: make as many different voices while saying “im practicing my cartoon voice” to invent as many different “characters”
These two works utilized only the voice of the artist and varying pitches to change sounds or voices. However screaming for three minutes is seem as much more bizarre in our society, and the video of Yoko Ono to me at least, causes some discomfort while watching, but it is also a cathartic experience, and you almost wish you were up there screaming.
Brian Joseph Davis and Reinke’s pieces are more “culturally acceptable” and I found it a little more entertaining, although it was off putting to hear the same phrase so many times, after so many repetitions, words start to lose their meaning. The voice over sounded like a movie trailer that never ends and makes no sense, I was drawn to it the most because made me feel like I was going to hear something great if I just waited long enough. The voice was so excited that I was drawn in to the weirdness and started trying to make my own story from the weird phrases that came about.
Ideas:
• I am drawn taking sounds out of my life, exploring the mundane or routine for me
• ASMR is always fun
• Recording myself singing?
• Reading a passage, changing the mood of it by changing my tone of voice
Week 6
Exercise Photos:
“smile” – with a straight face I took two clothes hangers, hooked them onto the corners of my mouth and pulled up to make a smile on my face. ⭐️ 
I found a piece of thick twine and wrapped it around my face covering everything but my eyes,nose and mouth. I called it the anti mask.⭐️ 
Using my head as a planter. 
I looked through the september issue of VOGUE and found an ad, i cut out the eyes and nose and posed with it as a mask.⭐️
These are the 4 final pictures I chose for the exercise. If I have to narrow it down to 3 I put stars ⭐️ on their captions.
I liked the idea of using my face as the material, whether it be changing my facial structure by pulling, squishing, poking, constricting, etc. I grew up with severe self-esteem issues from a very young age; I’ve avoided being in pictures or taking pictures of myself, and if someone else took a picture of me I would refuse to see it just to avoid the anxiety of seeing myself on camera. However, I never really minded seeing a picture of myself if I was in disguise or changing my appearance. These types of exercises allowed me to disconnect myself from the image. Although I’ve become more confident and love photography so I wanted to push myself out of my comfort zone for this exercise and release the ideals I have of a “nice photograph”. Instead of focusing on just wanting to look just pretty, I made new uses for my face, molded into forms I’ve never seen before and combined myself with someone else’s face.
Notes and Tests
Week 4 – Social Distance Portraits
Social Distance Video Portrait
“It has changed my day to day, I can’t go out to the places I normally would, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I think it is really limited the amount of spending I’d usually be doing, so in one sense that’s great because I’m saving money. I’m also spending more time to myself and doing things that matter. Over all it hasn’t impacted my day to day drastically. At work sales have actually been better because of my particular line of business – art supplies – a lot of people are doing more therapeutic art because they’re stuck inside all day. It’s interesting to see how certain industries that were kind of forgotten: crafts , fitness, roller skates etc. people are driven to these things now because they need an escape for their own mental on-ability & health.”
I asked my partner Jermaine to help me out with this project. He manages Deserres art supply store and has a unique experience during the pandemic. The following videos are other poses I was trying out. The first one is a close second but I liked the first one better. The second one after feels a little too much like just a photo for instagram so I didn’t like it as much, but I like the way the fringe on the jeans moves to show its a video and he’s standing still.
I also asked my brother and his partner Tania to pose for me. I didn’t choose it because I wasn’t too fond of how I framed it, I experienced some trouble there and lost their interview recording. Having both worked in the aviation industry (my brother is a pilot, Tania was a flight attendant at Air Canada) they expressed that COVID19 has figuratively (and almost literally) “clipped their wings”. Both are used o a lifestyle of travel, work and exploration and their particular industry has taken a big hit and it’s been a huge adjustment being home now. This is a stark difference to Jermaine, where he describes his industry as thriving in spite of the pandemic.
Notes:
WEEK 3
9 stills from throwing exercise. I wanted to achieve a “fruit ninja” look by throwing a knife and trying to cut the fruit mid air. unfortunately that became increasingly dangerous and i was never able to capture it on camera. However i did get some eery shots of flying fruit. Many of them look almost like UFOs.
Notes for Week 3
WEEK 2
WEEK 1
A ride in my overalls: 1 km of gardening, a Time lapse.
I measured 1km using my step counter, which also measures distance walked, and I filmed by sticking my phone in my overalls front pocket. I wanted to see how long it would take to “work” for 1km and what 1km would look like in gardening work. The time lapse video took approximately 1 hour to make and it stops when I reached 1 km of walking. I had many ideas for this project and I was not going to chose this for my main one as the video seems disorienting and too fast. It occurred to me after I watched it that I had to pick it because I felt like I actually conveyed what I was feeling into the video, which is rare for me. Watching back the time lapse I felt like I was reliving my summer, one that I have been anxiously trying to grasp back at, grieving the loss of the summer sun to make way for autumn frosts. A frenzy of images flicker in my mind trying to recall the last 6 months of my life, at times it feels like just yesterday I was starting this job and other times memories a few days ago feel like years. Usually my summers feel long, bored of working and waiting to return to school, but since the pandemic hit in March, it’s as though my sense of time has been sped up x10. Mentally my mind is still in March and my body is still coping. A kilometre of yard work (that I actually enjoy) has taught me bout the relativity of time; what may have been a speedy hour for me may be long and dragging for someone else, it can really about your mindset and how present you are or aren’t, or maybe it’s just one of the side affects of a global pandemic.
NOTES and answers to weekly questions:
Eli:
W1:
Notes on Sol Lewitt, Yoko Ono, Nauman complete and evidence of curiosity and engagement with material.
Kilometre image and description – seems related to conceptual practice, I like how the camera was in your overalls – relevant to the gesture of farming – and gives a unique, experimental point of view. Good you measured the kilometre, a kilometer of work – both interesting way to think of this work, and of the unit: KM.
W2: Image of Abramovic/Stillness gesture, and description complete and a good idea, getting close to ideas at play from Abramovic, rolled into a ball in a cage! I appreciate you made yourself uncomfortable/challenged to create tension, and meaning in the work. This could be a real time video, showing all the discomfort, moments of failure, struggle, but of course always be reasonable and safe with your body in your works. Great reflections – you can see how works like this are meditations, and create all kinds of insights.
W3: 6 conceptual sentences are complete and correct, with the simple formula for actions in each piece. Defenestration image and description complete and starts with a good idea, to mimic a popular game in real life, but it turns out to be impossible… strange blurry images, prompts multiple readings.
W4: Good notes on Adad’s work, and close looking. Distancing video portrait, and description – complete and ambitious, thanks for trying so many! I like Germaine, and Jose and Tania all convey something real, or that looked real, what people are really doing in this moment/time, even it is unexciting. Well framed, and shot with technical consideration, and good light/image quality. Great effort and results on these exercises!
Excellent attendance and engagement –keep up the notes and critical thinking, and you are making better and better work – can’t wait to see what’s next Eli! Bravo.
If you would like to talk with me about your work in progress, readings, exercises, one-on-one comments on your work, and grades – send me an email in the morning to book a 15 minute appointment during my office hours: Thursdays 1:30-3
And you can show up to a zoom meeting with Nathan anytime during these hours to ask your questions, and get tech support for using software and finishing your projects:
Mondays and Thursdays 1-4pm